It's hard to believe 2014 is already into mid March.
I turned 34 on Sunday. I still remember frantically typing away here on the eve of my 30th Birthday. In fact I turned 30 years old on you blog, as the clock struck midnight I typed the longest post perhaps in blogger history.
It's an odd time to randomly begin writing here again, it's completely spur of the moment and I have a morning shift tomorrow so I really can't be too long. But a nagging pull has brought me back here, just for myself. To document this time, whats been going on, as I've left a gap. So I pull up my swivel chair and begin as my teenage son often does to Gooseman and I, when he just wants to chat he sneaks up to us and just says "things and stuff...." cue talk to me.
A trend in the last few years has seen me accomplisihing long procrastinated tasks in the week or so before my Birthday. Last year I got my full licence and a new job, so naturally this year I got a Brazilian (YEOW!) and volunteered as a camp parent for 3 nights. Eek!
So I've just returned from Second Born's school camp. Amongst the physical exhaustion (ahem climbing Mt freaking Isabelle!) ironically I feel a renewed energy. A particular tiredness of my mind has diminished somewhat. So too has my bikini rash and it now feels quite cool. My lovely beauty therapist told me I am never allowed to shave again, so yeah, shall we call this the new me...sorry way TMI, but they both were truly two fears conquered.
I spent time with people I didn't know, I made some new friends, I tried really hard to let go if what other people could think of me. Sometimes, in small steps I won. I'm totally counting those minuscule moments as progress.
I also learned that young people don't scare me anymore.
That sounds weird. Especially in my line of work, but these were normal kids who use manners and don't swear or bite or riot on a daily basis. I realised that I actually really enjoy this age group. The early teen. They are a fun species and I get them. It made me feel better about what I do and that I have definitely acquired new skills with kids..... that aren't my own! heh
I love that I stepped out and tried something new and as a bonus didn't even hate it.
Late last year I was in a slump and someone helped pull me out by teaching me to paint in oils. She was incredibly generous with her time and materials and home. I believe it was totally a God thing that she called me out of the blue one day and invited me over. It's a God thing in a "I haven't even been to church in over a year, questioning everything I've ever been told, finding my identity apart from being a church going social-lite, making plenty of mistakes kind of way". I guess that paints a red flag to anyone secure in their faith, but I'll keep plodding at my own pace for now.
So I painted an owl. It turned out pretty cool but not as something I want to display in my living room so it hangs in Second born's bedroom for now and felt SO incredibly good to create. During my few weeks of painting it made me realise that this is something I actually HAVE to keep up. It's the most amazing feeling, I get utterly lost yet feel so at home and free when I delve into the whole process.
It's late now and I've written this by procrastinating baking something for the kids lunches. They'll just have to eat an extra sandwich or something. I really need to be less stingy in the groceries and just BUY biscuits, isn't that why I work after all?! guh
until next time.
I turned 34 on Sunday. I still remember frantically typing away here on the eve of my 30th Birthday. In fact I turned 30 years old on you blog, as the clock struck midnight I typed the longest post perhaps in blogger history.
It's an odd time to randomly begin writing here again, it's completely spur of the moment and I have a morning shift tomorrow so I really can't be too long. But a nagging pull has brought me back here, just for myself. To document this time, whats been going on, as I've left a gap. So I pull up my swivel chair and begin as my teenage son often does to Gooseman and I, when he just wants to chat he sneaks up to us and just says "things and stuff...." cue talk to me.
A trend in the last few years has seen me accomplisihing long procrastinated tasks in the week or so before my Birthday. Last year I got my full licence and a new job, so naturally this year I got a Brazilian (YEOW!) and volunteered as a camp parent for 3 nights. Eek!
So I've just returned from Second Born's school camp. Amongst the physical exhaustion (ahem climbing Mt freaking Isabelle!) ironically I feel a renewed energy. A particular tiredness of my mind has diminished somewhat. So too has my bikini rash and it now feels quite cool. My lovely beauty therapist told me I am never allowed to shave again, so yeah, shall we call this the new me...sorry way TMI, but they both were truly two fears conquered.
I spent time with people I didn't know, I made some new friends, I tried really hard to let go if what other people could think of me. Sometimes, in small steps I won. I'm totally counting those minuscule moments as progress.
I also learned that young people don't scare me anymore.
That sounds weird. Especially in my line of work, but these were normal kids who use manners and don't swear or bite or riot on a daily basis. I realised that I actually really enjoy this age group. The early teen. They are a fun species and I get them. It made me feel better about what I do and that I have definitely acquired new skills with kids..... that aren't my own! heh
I love that I stepped out and tried something new and as a bonus didn't even hate it.
Late last year I was in a slump and someone helped pull me out by teaching me to paint in oils. She was incredibly generous with her time and materials and home. I believe it was totally a God thing that she called me out of the blue one day and invited me over. It's a God thing in a "I haven't even been to church in over a year, questioning everything I've ever been told, finding my identity apart from being a church going social-lite, making plenty of mistakes kind of way". I guess that paints a red flag to anyone secure in their faith, but I'll keep plodding at my own pace for now.
So I painted an owl. It turned out pretty cool but not as something I want to display in my living room so it hangs in Second born's bedroom for now and felt SO incredibly good to create. During my few weeks of painting it made me realise that this is something I actually HAVE to keep up. It's the most amazing feeling, I get utterly lost yet feel so at home and free when I delve into the whole process.
It's late now and I've written this by procrastinating baking something for the kids lunches. They'll just have to eat an extra sandwich or something. I really need to be less stingy in the groceries and just BUY biscuits, isn't that why I work after all?! guh
until next time.